I have moved blog sites

Just a quickie to let you all know i have started a new blog site as i can now do it from my mobile. So if you want to know it then please let me know and i will gladly send you the link. If not!!!!!!!!!!

Oh no, here we go AGAIN!!!

Well what fun fill few weeks – not!!!
Party time, Holiday time, and Death time! Injection time for B12. And now Wedding time………
Had every weekend filled and this is the last one, need the world to stop so I can get off for a while!!

Party Time – Wonderful 40th, lots to drink and eat!!!

Holiday Time – Paris, in the middle of the red light district, mre seedy than I remember.

Death Time – father in law passed away on the day we were due to return from Paris. Emotionally draining for everyone.

Injection Time – My B12 is down due to the bypass so I now have to have injections and more blood tests.

And to top it all, it looks like i need ANOTHER op on my leg, grrrrrrrrrr

With one thing and another I have not been watching my weight and I am not 20st.12lb – not a word please I am beating myself up about it as I write this. But lets face it no-one has put the food in my face! It also shows that I still have to be careful on what and when I eat even though I have this bypass!!
Funny really, the things that are bad for you are easier to handle than the healthy things, wonder why?? Maybe its all in my mind.
With one thing and onther that has happened I feel totally drained and emotional numb!! Feel as if I need to have a good crying session to relise things, but I cannot!!!
Let hope things get better in one ways than one!!!!!!!

Happy Anniversary

It's been a year since my operation, and i feel good!!!!!!

I am now 19st, 11lb. Going to Weight Watches to lose the rest.....

Will up date some more later....

Not a worry............

Got weighed to, so things can get back normal!!! Well as I expected I have put on 3lb cos of crimbo. I am now 20st 07lb.

I have bought a mini trampoline so I will be bouncing for 20/30 minutes each evening in the kitchen and I will be logging my food intake and hopefully it will be below 1000 cals a day. Only low cal stuff now as I am hoping for a good lose this week to get me back on track. I would like to be below 20st by the end of the month and then lose about half a stone each month till I am 14st!!!!

Not sure after all this if I will have my skin cut away!!!! Seems like a lot of pain, I might change my mind when I get there, but now I think it will be a no-go area!!! I can’t wait to start losing AGAIN I have been standing still for about 2 months now and I feel the need to push myself to get to my goals!!!

Anyway that’s it for now. Will blog next week with an udate…………………

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. We had a wonderful time here. Went to the in-laws for Christmas day, which was really fun. The rest of the time we spent at home with friends for New Years Eve.

Went to see Mum on 22nd, had to prompt her about my weight lose and then nothing much was said. Mind you I thought mum looked really poorly as she too has lost a lot of weight through being ill, it really scared me for a while. Angela and Neil (brother and wife) came to see us at mums, which was really nice as I haven’t really seen them since we got married in September 06. Angela was really interested about it but Neil said that he didn’t agree with it, not sure what he meant as I didn’t want to go there with him really. He probably meant that he didn’t agree with surgery to save someone life then I’ll leave it to your own opinion on that!!!!! I have no fear in saying that without this operation I would be really ill and the weight would just still on and I might be dead before I’m forty ( this year!!) But thanks for the support. This is why I never told them about it as there would just be so negative about the whole thing I would not have gone though with it. No-one really mentions about my diplomas I have they probably mean nothing to them, they don’t even know what I do in my job. Like many things in my life, I do not think my family are very supportive, they do not seem to encourage anyone in doing anything to better themselves, well I don’t think so, and I have to except that but I will not go along with that attitude – never!! Maybe it is because they are too wrapped in their own lives like we all can be, and quite rightly so, but personally I do like to know about other, I could not be so blinkered!!!! But that’s enough now otherwise I will probably piss people off. Someone said that I have issues with family matters!!! Not really, I love family, just like to be noticed from time to time like any normal person!!

I have made 3 things to do this year;
To take driving lessons (start 14th Feb) and pass my driving test, will not tell anyone when that is!!!!
Finish my counselling course and hopefully (if I can) become self employed by the end of the year.
Read more books and watch less TV.

Sounds all quite boring but it is all for my main goal of being coming self employed as a counsellor (would like to specialise in weight issues among all other types of counselling) and then I can work from home. I wish someone could have been there from me when I was struggling before and after the surgery. I would have paid for it, wouldn’t you????

As for my weight, I have not weighed myself for a while. My next weigh in will be next week sometime, maybe next Friday!!! There are still a lot of this to munch though, Christmas was really funny, I can graze all day but when I sit down and have a “proper” meal I can’t eat too much. Must get out of this grazing frame of mind I have got. Don’t think I really have lost anything because of this. Not good really. Would like to lose 5 stone this year, get to 15 stone at least and I will be a happy happy man. Not too sure whether I will have a body tuck to get rid of the loose skin, I feel that I will be too painful and from what I have read it will be. So maybe I will give that a miss, I all really depends I like what I see!!!!!

Take care till next time………….

Moan for the day!!!

Recently I have sent family and friends the link to this blog. Wish I hadn’t really!!!! If I had known that people would take things to heart then I would not have bothered. Mind you I have re-read it and I can understand why!!!

I do have to say that if one time of hating people makes me out to be a bad guy then I’ll hold my hand up. I was going through a bad time there, which I thought was obvious, and lets face it I have hated everyone recently even myself!!!!! Someone mentioned that maybe it is because they feel guilty and because I put in down in writing then it just confirms this in there eyes, not sure. I will admit though I do feel very guilty for making people feel the way they do, as this was not my intention.

I could understand people feeling this but they are not really a constant part of my life and I didn’t tell them anyway so they were not aware of this op and things. As for upsetting my own mother, and let’s face it, I have and done things a lot more worst that moan about her and others. I feel that if people think I go through life trying to upset family and friends in my actions and words then thanks for the vote of confidence and your respect. I DO NOT GO AROUND DELIBERATLY UPSETTING FOLK, if I did then they would know about it. Not a threat but the true!!!!! How many times have i heard certain people really go to town slagging other people off and i have bot said a word??? Too many to think about!!!! Just because i have an view for one time on my life then shit happens....................................

All this only goes confirms one thing, that certain members of my family and friends do not really know me at all and maybe they still think of me as they know me years ago, maybe they cannot accept the fact I have me own voice and opinions. Perhaps they cannot handle it? Who knows? Maybe it’s a good thing they never know about the op as if they cannot handle things now I feel they would not be able to help me then, when I was going through the bad time. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe there support would have, too late now!!!!!!

All I know is that, for once in a long time I am happy with myself and how I am, OK I might not be who people want me to be, but I am getting to be what I want to be, it has taken me 39 years to get where I am and a lot of hard times.

People must understand that this blog is good for me as even though I am a load person I have feeling issues and this is like a online diary, my intention was only to let people know what I am up to, and nothing else!!!!! You can’t please all the people all the time………

If this comes across to hard then tough, i am fed up pf people making me feel guilty for something about nothing...............If this means i loose a few friendships then maybe they where never friends anyway. I believe you have to go though hard time to make the friendship better, so someone once told me!!!!!!!

Anyway I wish all a very merry Christmas, and a wonderful 2008…………..

9 Months Post Op….

Well it’s not good news, I have not lost this month but put on 4lb instead!!!! Still best part of 8stone though!!! Only to be expected I think after such a huge lost this year. Not happy though. I think I have fallen into the trap of grazing during the day and therefore you can intake more calories that way and grazing on the wrong type of food doesn’t help neither!!!! But I think on the hole scale of things I am still on track to losing another my goal weight in 18 months (another 5stone by September 08).

I think I will do an online diet after the holidays, to get me into the swing of things again. It will be better when its lighter nights as I can take Domino for a longer walk like I use to. It just seems to be a quick 20 mins around the block. He’s happy though. Mind you i did walk up the Steep Hill in Lincoln and was OK, remembering last i didn't really do it in one go like i did this year. I even left hubby lagging behing - bless him!!!!!

Been to the quacks this week for my 6monthly check up and they have taken me off the inhalers (as I have not used them since March!), kept me on the happy pills and antacid tabs. Must admit I seem to be a lot calmer and less anger with the help of them. Looking back at past blogs there was a lot of anger there. Rightly or wrongly so, not too sure????

Anyway that’s all for now folks…………………

Not much fun.........

Thought it was about time to update you all on my progress, or lack of it to be right. For the last few weeks I have put on and took off 2lbs where I am now 21stone 2lb now so still best part of 8 stone lost. I was really hoping for a wonderful birthday present to myself and to be in the 19stones.

Not feeling too back about the non weight lose but I am trying not to let I get to me. The Dentition bird said that my body has hit its first Plato no shit Sherlock!! And that it might take a while but it will come off again. THE BODY IS NOT MADE TO LOSE WEIGHT, so she said anyway. Time will tell. Keeping my fingers crossed for a wonderful Xmas pressie to myself, who knows.

Told Mum about my weight lose and he op, and she was nearly interested about it but then lost interest and spoke about something else. Oh well at least she knows know and she has told the rest of the family by the sounds of it but no-one has said anything, typical!!!!!

Went to Scarborough or my birthday and I really enjoyed it. Hubby got me a Nintendo with the Nintendogs game, love it really good fun. The brain testing is not fair!!!!! Walked and walked around Scarborough and really really loved it. We will defiantly go back there.

Well that’s it for now, only another 19 days to crimbo, can’t wait………..ho ho ho………

8 months post op..............

Well I’ve done it, lost 8 stone in 8 months. I now weigh 20st, 01lb. Next week I hope I am will in the 19stones. Feel really good about it. Just goes to show that even though food might be affected by the bypass, liquids aren’t. I have kept off the orange juice and sweets and I have lost 4lb this week. Total for this month is 6lb, if I loose that next month I’ll be a happy man.

The other news is that I looks like can now eat meat, well small amounts anyway. I have try some slice of turkey rashers and they have stayed down, so I’ll slowly introduce meat back into my diet and see how things go, really pleased with this as I have missed meat even though it was nice to be veggie for a while (the animal thing!!!)

My family still do not have any idea of the weight I have lost let alone the operation. I think I will be going down there before Christmas so hopefully then I will be 19st something and we’ll see if they notice. If not then I’ll be next Christmas they’ll see me.

I have passed my first 3 counselling assignments, only another 9 to go. Not sure what and where this will lead, but I feel that I would like to become self employed and counsel people with diet, WLS, and health issues then I can combine both my Counselling and Diet and Nutrition diploma’s together. As I feel that there is not, if any, help for people who have had WLS and to get them through the first few months as I did find this a partially hard time to get though and would have loved to speak to someone who understood would I was going through as you do feel alone and if you mention this to people who do not understand then it just makes you feel worse as you know they don’t understand!!!! So that’s the way I want to go, I will still do other kinds of counselling too but I would like to specialise in one thing!!!!

Anyway keep you fingers crossed for next weeks lose…………………………….

The time has come!!!!!!!!

Well the time has arrived??? I have put on 2lb ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

I know weigh 20st 5lb. Making it ONLY 2lb lost this month. Next week is my 8 month post op anniversary. Hope I make it more………….

Never mind though. I know why!! Lots of sweetie and orange juice would have done it more than likely!!!

So this week I am focused, will be writing everything down that passes my lips and only eating low calorie food (hopefully) no sugar and only water and squash. Will try and go on my exercise bike every night for 20/30 minutes as well as taking Domino for walkies (20/30mins) and hopefully this should shift the 6 lb to make me be in the 19stone make.

I have a diploma in diet and nutrition so I really should put it to the test really – durr!!!!

Think it does not help that the nights are darker and hubby is away for most or all of the week. Not nice being at home alone on these dark nights. I’m glad Dom is there but he’s not hubby!!!


Anyway keep on trying, until next time, byeeeeeeee…………………..

No Moan Today :O))

Not going to moan today, but just update you on my weight. Got weighed this morning and lost 1lb, making me a grand total of 7st 12lb lost making me now 20st 3lb. I will have to celebrate when i get below 20st. I have not been this weight now for about 6-7 years.

So hopefully next week will be a good one, fingers crossed!!!!!

Bye for now....................

Moan for the day..........

Just a moan for the day/week!!!! Why do some of my friends think that i am only there for them and i am at their disposal???? To say that my friends like to think that we are close, they NEVER keep in touch and when i text them to see how they are they take it upon themselves to ask me for something. IS IT ME??? Or is that just taking me for granted??? Or do i ask too much from a friendship??

Seems to me that everythings OK when i do what other people want me todo, but when it comes to doing what i want then it alls changes.

It's like this blog i have sent it to friends that i think would like to know how i am getting on but i know that there are only a few look at this, the rest just don't bother, and then they ask me for favours. Whan i ask if whether they looked at my blog, then all i get is a half-hearted "na" as if it is too much trouble, only going to show, in my eyes, how much i mean to them....................

Makes the move easier, thats all i have to say...................

Me again!!!!!

Why do I out myself in the position of being disappointed??? Families!!!! Rang my Mum up the other day (bearing in mind they still don’t know anything about the bypass!) and I told her about New Zealand and passing my Diet & Nutrition Diploma and all I got was a half hearted “ oh that’s good then” and off she went talking about something else. I know next time to when I’m asked “how are we” not to say anything!!!

I do try and not get too bothered about thing like that but it does really go against the grain. I can’t help but feel that, again, I am only here to listen to other people, and when it comes down to me/us then its tough!!! And here’s me studying to be a counsellor!!!! But a least when that happens I’ll be paid for listening and it won’t come free – he he he.

Can you imagine what she might say if I ever told here about the bypass and about nearly losing 8 stone!!! Probably nothing!!!! And that goes for the rest of them……….

Slowing Down

Well what a fun month,

I am now 20st 7lb, lost 7st 8lb, only another 5 ½ st to go. Things are really slowing down only lost 8lb this month, but hey that’s still good news.

Passed my Diet & Nutrition Diploma, and started my Diploma in Counselling this month too. All goes towards moving to New Zealand. Hubby is going to have a second interview (over the net) and has sent lots of things over to the company that might offer him a job to show them what he can do and to back his CV up. Think I want to go now as I have had enough of this country really. Time for a new start I think!!!!……..

Been feeling a bit moody, must remember to take pills!!! I passed out the other Sunday for some reason, one minute I was walking from the loo and the next I was crouched kneeling on the floor with Domino licking my glasses. Not too sure why????

Going to have my nails done this Friday, because for some my nails are really paper thin, so I am going to have something done to them to make them stronger, I have tried gel but they just peel off!!!!! Bit of a puffy thing to have done but hey if the cap fits!!!!!!

Other than that things are OK and plodding along with things as they come up…….

Over 6 Months Now....

Well it’s been a long time since my last entry, I haven’t really done much weight wise (think it might be slowing down now!!) I am now 20st, 12lb meaning I have lost 7st, 3lb. Still good but I can’t wait to get under the 20stone barrier. Feel pretty good about that I must admit……….

Been on holiday as shown by the picture of Domino at the front of the boat. We like it but it was slow. Could only go 4-6 mph, but it was relaxing and the only moans we had was when we moored up, I wasn’t doing it right!!!! As if!!!!!! Not sure whether we would do it again in a hurry. If so it might just be for a long weekend..

Andy had an interview the other week and it was for a job in New Zealand, it went very well, but has not heard anything since. He has asked the NZ agency to chase this up, so we will just have to wait and see what happens. As much as I find the prospect exciting I also find it very scary to think I will be on the other side of the world. I will defiantly miss everyone but maybe this would be a brilliant chance for us. Not sure, serious talks will happen if there is a solid job offer for him on the table.

I have nearly finished my Diploma in Diet & Nutrition course, just one more (complex) assignment to do and then hopefully I would have passed. I have also just got my next course through which is for a Diploma in Counselling. So that should be fun. At least then (hopefully) I can do a job that I might find more satisfying, and work from home for myself. Who knows!!!!

Bye for now……………….

It is now my 5 month anniversary!!!!!!

I am now 21stone 07pounds, lost a grand total of 6stone 08pounds – wonderful times!!! Only another 6stone 07pounds to go and I’ll be where I what to be, 15 stone. Really I have lost more that I want to lose now………if you see what I mean!! I think!!

Well, another good week though. Lots of walking, I have a pedometer to show me what I have done, very exciting!!! We have joined a gym to that should by very interesting. If we ever get there for the first assessment!!!!

Went to doctors at the end of last week for some more pills for my acid reflux thing as I felt that it was coming back with a vengeance. Anyway got two months of them so happy days till they run out!!!!

Found out that my course that I doing is the equivalent to an A level, good times. I have done two and passed two, just sent in number three so we’ll see how that goes now!!!

We are both looking forward to our boating holiday, only another 4 weeks to go – yeah. 5 days of nothing, just us three on a 35foot cruiser on the Norfolk Broads, I WANT IT NOW!!!!! Seems a long time away!!!!

Makes me laugh, I gave most of my friends this blog address and there are only a few that read it, most can’t be bothered. Need to change my friends…………

Good Times..

What a fun week I have had. We both went to a wedding reception on Saturday night and I have found a bonus of having the bypass!!! You get drunk quicker, I have a white wine and lemonade and after the first one I felt really drunk. After a few I was really on my way, I danced most of the night and I really felt good about myself as I was being told that I looked really good and people could see I had lost over 6stone, which really boosted my mood. Life was good that night.

Well this week I have just got weighed and I have lost 2lb this week, making me 21st 11lb, would have thought it would have bee more as I have been dancing and walking the dog for an hour and went swimming last night. But hey any lose is good for me, as I am sure it will slow down soon but not just now. I was hoping for that to happen when I get below 20stone. I am hoping to be in the 20stone barrier for when we go on holiday in September. We'll see..........

But this week has been a good one. So lets look forward to next week then……………

Good News!!!

We I’ve done it, its now 5 months and I am now 6st 2lb lighter. I have lost 4lb this week. I think it is because I have been doing 60mins walking the dog, which burns off approx 550 cals for someone of my size, every evening and we have gone swimming too this week. Oh that would work out wouldn’t it, I can only lose weight by exercise, wonderful no sitting on my bum now when I get in, its walkies for Domino and me every evening now for a week and hopefully it’ll be a good lose next week.

Went to see Scissor Sisters concert last Thursday evening, it was fantastic really good show, a bit naughty at times but hey it was what you would expect. All walk of life there too!!!!

Everything else is good. Took my last ant-acid pill this morning so with any luck the reflux will not come back! Still on happy pills and I also take some St Johns Wart as a booster, nothing bothers me now – ha ha ha……

What is happening???

Well I thought I had a good week this week, but oh no, got on the scales this morning and NOTHING!!! Nothing lost, still the same weight as I was last week141kgs. What is happening?? Looking back on what I have eating the only thing I can think of is not much protein in my diet, well I say protein, I mean protein drinks. I just cannot seem to take them in the morning now. I know I could have then at night but that’s even worse, will try harder this next week. So I still need 2lb to loose before I have lost that wonderful 6st!!!!! Next week is my 5 month anniversary post op, and i would love for my wieght to me more than the months post op!!!!

I have been thinking about my last visit to the dietarian, she mentioned about this “dumping syndrome” and the more small intestines I had removed the more I would get this. As I have not had many times of having this (even though I have supposedly had 2 meter of my bowel bypassed) I think that the 2 meters might not be the case. I would love to know what has happened inside. I am not convinced that I is 2 meters!!!!

Going out tomorrow (off work till Monday) to see Scissor Sisters in concert at the new O2 in London. It was a Christmas present from hubby, really looking forward to it, should be a good day out. Got a friend coming over to this afternoon to stay till Friday so Domino is not left all day on his own tomorrow – bless Bev for doing that!!! Hopefully going to London again, with Domino, on Saturday evening to walk around Soho and China Town and have a nice walk along the river.

Nothing more to report, all other things are going well…………..

Keep your fingers crossed from next weigh in………………….

It's Been Good This Week...........

It’s been a good week this week, just got weighed and lost 3lb – yeah!!!! Another 2lb and I would have lost 6st, brilliant news. So fingers crossed for next week!!!!

Went to friends on Sunday for a BBQ, and they cooked a wonderful spread of food all straight from the garden, fantastic taste. Unfortunately I had a piece of chicken and 10 minutes later I sicked the whole lot out. Don’t know why it happened? I did think it was the chicken but not too sure now as on Tuesday I had a sweet and sour chicken with rice (first time for rice!!) and that was OK. Go figure!!!!! So tonight I am going to have chicken strips with a sauce to see have that goes down, I may even have a spoonful of rice. Oh I know who to live on the edge.

Other than that I have been to the dietician and she is happy with my process. Told her that I didn’t lose anything last week as she said that liquids act the same way as food but this cannot be the case, and I told her so!!!! So this week nothing but diet squash and water for me to see if I can get into the 6st lose barrier. The tablet for the acid are very good as I still have no pain when eating, and as for the happy pills they have kicked in now and I feel better than I have done in months. Nothing seems to bother me as much as it used to. So all good really!!!!!!

Really looking forward to next week as we are going to see Scissor Sisters in concert at the O2 dome. This was one of my Xmas pressies from hubby!!!!

Until next time please do take care…………

I don't believe it!!!!!!!

What a funny morning, got myself weighed and for the first time ever I have not lost anything, not a pound!! The last time I went to the hospital the diet lady told me that drink is absorbed the same as food. This cannot be correct as I have had more orange juice and ice lollies than I normally have and I think that is why I have not lost anything this week, that and for the fact that I have not really gone swimming and walked the dog since Andy came back from his course. So this week will be full of exercise and really healthy food and no junk (that’s if you can call orange juice junk!!!!)

Other than that I am fine, tablets for both acid and depression are working and I feel I can cope with most things now. Still get bad days but I soon snap out of them and get on with things without it bothering me. Looks like the pain when I ate was due to the acid production in my “pouch” as this week I have not really had any pain when I eat. Maybe the pain stopped me from eating as much and made me loose the weight!!!!!! Who knows…….

At the moment I don’t feel that the “pouch” owns me and we are now a part of each other!!! Still feel that I have to play safe with my food, but maybe its time to see if I can have steamed chicken and things, watch and see. I probably won’t as I have got into a rut with my food and feel comfortable with what I am eating.

Bye for now…………….

Lost another 5lb!!!!!! - Fantastic

Well I've done it again, lost another 5lb this week. I have lost 5st, 9lb in all. I am aver the moon with that. At this rate i will be really thin for Christmas!!!!

Been to the doc's about the acid reflux and i am on more pills to stop it, will be on these for a month. He also gave me another 2 months of anti-depressants. Not sure if they are as good as he says but i am not as moody and teary with them!!!

Asked him about the loose skin i will have in a years time and he has told me to come and see him at the beginning of the year ( or when my weight lose has hit a plato!!) and he will see where things are by then. He will have to write to governing body to tell them how much weight i have lost and to see if they will funds the plastic surgery for the loose skin to be removed.

More later..............

ACID!!!!!!

What a fun few days i have had, since last Thursday when i had some ham that went funny i have been having chest pains. Really scary as i thought i was gonna be a heart attack. Even though i knew it wasn't "that" kind of pain i felt as if it could have been. Anyway went to the dietitians yesterday and she said it would most likely be acid reflux!!! Funny thing is that i felt like i needed to be sick when i was there and all that happened was lots of acid was produced, proving her theory!!! So i went to get a load of ant-acid tablets to see how that makes and you know what they worked as i have hardly had any pain today!!!! Worry over!!! But a least i will know next time, will mention it to the quacks on Thursday though.......

Anyway besides that all is well, Andy is home and passed everything he went on the course for - yeah!!! Goes back to work on Wednesday.

Getting weighed tomorrow, again i don't think i will do good as i have had alot of quavers this week and i usally don't if i have those kinda things, we'll see though....................

Over the five stone mark.....

I have lost 6lb this and that takes me to 5st 4lb in total lost in 15 weeks, i am now 22st, 11lb, feel really good about that..

Andy left us on Saturday afternoon, it was horrid, we have never been apart for as long as this, he will be back this Sunday afternoon. Should have had a friend over but she didn't come a she got a cold!!!! Didn't look after the chameleons as planned as one of them died and the other is at the vets being looked after just in case that one pops it!!!! So to keep me busy i have painted the staircase and the downstairs loo, as well as re-enamelled the bath (again!!). I have just finished lime waxing the dining table and chairs. So i think this week so far has been very productive.

As for the anti-depressants, not too sure about them!! I feel OK, but i still feel as if things are not good enough!! I am due to go back on Monday but i might make an appointment in the morning just to see if he can up the dosage - maybe.....

Went out with another friend (Debs) for a long walk on Wednesday with Domino. Really like the time i spent with her, haven't seen her for a while and it was just what the doctor ordered for me.... Saw next door neighbours today too and had a good old chat which was nice to see them.

Changes..............

Feel pretty irritated this morning for some reason, it has been a normal morning doing the normal stuff, my head feels a bit fuzzy and my eyes are not focusing that good. Really weird felling!!! Sometime i feel a bit like two sides of a coin!!!!!

Really not looking forward to Andy going away, even though I have friends coming around, and I am baby sitting two chameleons, the time without Andy will not be fun. I feel for him too, all that study. I am sure it will be worth it in the end!

Had a decent day food wise yesterday, maybe the trick is to really chew well and perhaps at times I do forget or not chew as good as other times. I do feel that I will stick on soft food (or easily chewed foods) for a while and see how that goes.

Forgot to tell you all that I had decided to do a home study course on Diet & Nutrition, as the RNY has changed my internal workings it can only do me good to learn about what I need. Not as if I am that think though!!!!! :o)) But we’ll see how it goes……….

Friends are all good, some are the same though. I have sent this link to them all but nothing is said when they ring, not as if I need constant mentioning about me and things but I would be nice for them to say something!!! Self obsessed!!! Selfish!!! Where do I finish? I could go on and on, but I won’t as they normally do – about themselves!!! Makes me laugh really as it just shows what kind of people I surround myself by. I won’t mind but I don’t think I am like that at all?

Anyway you can’t change folk, but my time will come!!!!.............................................

What a Fun Few Days

What a fun week I have had!!! I have been feeling really fed up with things this week, for some reason I have not been able to eat good this week. My “pouch” has been showing off and I have not been able to eat anything without feeling pain as it goes in. Meat is a definite no-no and it seems I am back on the soft foods; I have been eating a lot of yogurt too. Feeling really disillusioned about this bloody “pouch” now as it should have settle down and I should be able to eat without pain, (well its more like real back heartburn that last about 60 minutes, you can feel the food churning!!!).

I have been to the doctors about my mood swings and feeling down. He has prescribed me with anti-depressants and I have to go back in two weeks to see how things are then and maybe increase the dosage. Things are too early to tell is they are working but maybe they will??!!

On a good note I have lose another 3lb this week so that make me 4st 12lb lost in 14 weeks. So next week I should be under 23st and I (hopefully) should have lost 5stone in weight – FANTASTIC :o)

Andy goes away this Saturday till the following Sunday, will miss him really bad as he does support me. I will have to take Domino a walk twice a day too, so that will help with the weight lost!!!!...............

Hopefully today will be better than yesterday, food wise! I feel really empty inside and it aches!!!!!! Would be nice to feel full-ish…………………..

Good News!!!!

Got myself weighed yesterday morning and I have lost another 5lb, making my weight lose 65lb (4st 9lb). I think that this is brilliant news as it is the second week I have had a descent weight lose 11lb in two weeks. You watch now I have bragged about this I won’t lose anything this next week. Maybe the trip to the dietician does not what she is talking about after all or maybe it is because I have some guide lines to work to, like 60g of protein of certain amounts of fruit, vegetables and so on. The weight cannot come off fast enough for me though!!!!

I am not feeling too good, emotionally wise, recently. Maybe it is hormonal?? Maybe lack of vitamins and minerals? Hopefully the dietician will sort that out soon. Andy bless him!! It cannot be any fun for him at times and I do feel for him. Not as if I take things out on him, but maybe my moods get on his nerves more than he lets on. Don’t know I am having them really………….

All in all I am glad that the weight lose is going well, but I want these mood swings to calm down I can’t cope let alone others. Still feel a bit bitter about the family thing, but I still stand on what I said about not going to see them till we are in 2008. Who knows by then I could be 18 stone. Maybe they will notice then!!!! Grrrrrrrr

More interesting news………….
I have just enrolled in a home study course in Diet & Nutrition. I thought that as I have to look after myself now for life (like we all should!!) then I might as well study it and know what I am talking about. At the end of it I get a ASET Level 3 Diploma. I am really looking forward to starting it. Should get it tomorrow sometime!!!!! Besides that if I know what to do and take for certain things then I might be able to stop the visits to the hospital to see there nutritionist.

Bye for now…………….

What are Families for????? Mine are a waste of space!!!!!!!!

Went to see my family the first time since I have had the operation and since I have lost 60lb! Baring in mind they do not know about the operation…..

What a surprise, not a murmur from them. Nothing said!!!!! Andy even gave hints about a special diet, but nothing – not interested!!! So I have made a decision that that’s it now, not going to go over till well into the New Year now, they’ve shot it. Maybe then, if they do notice, i will tell them. I even took a picture down to show then what i have had done and they could be fully genned up about it. Waste of bloody time the whole lot of them...........

I do feel really hurt about it that no-one said anything. Maybe they just genuinely didn’t see the difference, maybe it is not a lot of weight for them to notice?? Or maybe they are doing their normal thing and too wrapped up in there own lives they cannot see further than their own blinkered noses.

I sometimes can see where Andy comes from when he says “what does he have to do to impress me?” (Which of course he does not have to anything impress me at all, because everything he does is good!!) Now I know where this attitude comes from – MY WONDERFUL FAMILY!!!!!

As I am writing this I feel a lot of anger towards them. Even though I knew know one would be interested in our lives because they never are really, it always seems that we go to visit them for them and all they can do is talk about themselves and never ask about us. I hate my family so much I can feel myself being bitter about them. But now i know why i have "issue" about certain things i can't cope with, it all boils down to "family" and how they treat you.

I can really do without my family as i feel really let down by them and not feeling too good about things now. I don't know why i feel so hurt about Saturday but i just do and i don't know why i feel so bad about them not noticing anything as i didn't expect them too anyway. Maybe i thought they might have chanced - NOT!!!

I was feeling good about myself before, now i feel really demoralised and that 60lb is nothing. I know it isn't but it is just how i feel.......................

What a fun day i have had today!!!!!!

I went for a post operative check up today at our local hospital. After having a run around and going to 3 different departments to end up back at the first one I went to did really give me much confidence in the “system”.

I am in two minds whether or not I got anything from it. All they really wanted to know was about my experience in Belgium. Like I said it was all good but the aftercare did not exist. There wasn’t much she told me that I did already know, and half of me thought I was there for data purposes. They did tell me that today was more of a “fact finding appointment” – waste of time, I thought.

I tried to tell them that the hardest part was and still is to get your head around the amount you can have to eat and how your “pouch” will except it or not. She said that she could help me with all issues surrounding my “now life” but I am not convinced as I did not come away with anything new today. So only time will tell.

I have been told to eat 60g of protein a day (that should be fun) so I have to email the details of my protein drink to Jemma (the nutritionist) so she can see if this is suitable. It better be as I did get it from a health food site………

I really do hope that I get some issues sorted from these sessions a sometime I really feel that nobody is there for me to “off load” and get things sorted. Mind you I would respect these people more if they had had the operation or even been struggling with the weight but it seems that they are all young and skinny – ha ha ha……………

3 MONTHS AFTER THE OPERATION

This is my favourite walk with Domino.

Well, its good news folks I am now weighing in at 23st 11lb, a grand total of 4st 4lb lost in 3 months. If this carries on I will be below 20 stone by the beginning of September, I just can’t wait for that day. Who knows by Christmas I could be 17stone!!!!! That would be a brilliant Christmas present from me, I really do hope so.

I have lost this week 6lb maybe that is because both of us have been going swimming (2 nights) and walking the dog for 75 minutes most nights. I had a good weekend food wise and didn’t really eat a lot as I didn’t really feel hungry. Mind you all that exercise has made me feel really tired.

All in all I feel really good would like that same lose from next week but any would be good. I just need to break out of this one good week one bad week weight lose.

Wonderful Weekend

Had a really good weekend, what I did eat (which was not a lot) went down really well. Found some sugar free ice lollies in Asda and they are really nice, so good bye to ice lollies with sugar in them ummmmmm.

Went to a BBQ on Sunday and I eat a meaty kebab thing which was like a sausage and that went down OK but it did lay heavy, a few peanuts and salad. That was it for the day not much to eat at all this weekend and I feel really good surprisingly enough. Lots of people said that they could tell I had lost weight. That was I real ego boost. But I did feel bad for Andy as no-one really said anything about his new job and things, well not that I could hear……I hope that he does not get fed up with people saying things about my weight loss…………

Lots of exercise this weekend too, we moved the garden around which meant moving the shed and laying slabs for it to sit on. Pottered around the garden for the rest of the weekend, so I really kept active!!!!

Hopefully I should have lost lots of weight this week, and to top it all we are going swimming this evening so alls well.

A Good Day!!!!

Had a good day, food wise!
Seems as if I eat lots of food, but maybe because I have been good and just had “safe” foods:

Breakfast - Glass Milk
Lunch - Boiled Potatoes, Mushy Peas & Mint Sauce
Dinner - Mash Potatoes with Tinned Chilli Con Carne
Snacks - Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich / Ice Lolly / Bowl of Custard

That seems to be my staple diet at the moment; most boring but I crave some normal food. This is the frustrating part for me.

I know some people that criticise the foods that I eat and say that they can’t see the problem as the less food you eat the better, but this is OK on the surface but as they do not know what it is like then they should really comment, this is what I have to put up with on a day to day basis.

Even though I do not regret having the operation and I knew it is the most “drastic” of the WLS, nobody really tells you what it is like when you are used to eating in bulk and then all of a sudden you can only manage a small side plate full. I think that this needed to be made clearer than it was (if it ever was). I have read books and done my research and even though this was mentioned you do not know what it is like until you are going through it.

I think if you look as food as a “friend” and like the whole picture of food like buying it, preparing it, cooking it and then of course eating it then I think it is hard to come to terms with not just buying food but buying food that you can eat without it causing any after effect and can be eaten with easy. Food is no fun now, it is not my friend and it is hard to forget what it meant……..

Oh if you are wondering, i do excerise, well i take the day a walk for about 40-60 minutes most days so that does help the weight loss........

Until next time……..

Better late than never........

This is me a few days after my gastic bypass (RNY), and now its been 11 weeks since my operation was done in Belgium by Dr Dillemanns, all went well with that and I was really surprised that I was not in that much pain, more like a discomfort – weird!!!! The hospital was really nice and they all spoke good English. Things were like a conveyer belt, swift and efficient but I liked it that way. Not heard anything from them since mind you!!!!

I had no worries about the operation as I know at just over 28st (392lb) It is the right decision to have made…. And let’s face it, it had to happen!!!! I can really feel the benefits now!!!! Mind you saying that If I had know how frustrating it would be getting used to the amount of food that I can eat. I knew that I would not be able to consume the amounts that I was used to but some days all I can have is a few mouthfuls and that alone is so maddening. Some days I find food really boring as I cannot eat meat which is a pity as I do like a bit of streamed chicken.

11 weeks on I mainly stick with soft of mashed food. Pretty boring really as I find that going out for meals a no-no as I cannot eat nearly enough to make it expectable for what I leave.

Sadly I find that most of my friends, lack interest I what I have had done for whatever reason, maybe it is ignorance – who knows. I think that they don’t really show interest in what the whole thing has done and how I feel, but hey, that’s what I seem to find in any situation as times. Maybe its the friends I keep?

Family do not know! I thought that I would be best not to tell them and as I do not see then from one month (longer) to the next then I thought that I would be a great surprise to see then 10 months after the fact and hopefully I would have lost 10st (140lb) and then I will tell them. Mind you they probably would be like my friend s and not show that much interest….could be wrong but I doubt it!!!! Might show my niece this blog later to see her reaction but that won’t be for a long time yet.

Shame there is not a support network for me with friends and family – hey hoo!!! It does hurt me about this situation but you have to get on with it really!!!!

Andy (my hubby) has been really supportive as I do find myself having hissy fits, because of the food thing, and he is there for me. Mind you I do find that when he has his meals a bit frustrating as while I’m sitting there eating a few sloppy mouthful he will be tucking into lots of nice things – grrrrrrr!!! Never mind it will be all worth it in a few more months time.

11 weeks on I have lost 3st 12lb (54lb) so that is really good for just under 3 months nearly 4stone….. mind you the loss has been really sporadic, so weeks I can loss 7lb and the next 1lb, and like this week NOTHING?? Not to sure what went on there then?? Maybe it has something to do with the ice lollies I like to have (only cos they are easy to get down!!).

Anyway moving on, just a little insight of what has been going on with me in the last 11 weeks, I will try and keep this going so that you can see how things are going.

Oh by the way i am now 24st 03lb - not bad going......................